


If this is my last night with you

by ChiefOfLaurians



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 02:11:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6546247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiefOfLaurians/pseuds/ChiefOfLaurians
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If this is my last night with you, Hold me like I'm more than just a friend, Give me a memory I can use, Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do, It matters how this ends, Cause what if I never love again?"<br/>Basically, Peggy’s dead and Angie's a mess but one night she gets an unsuspected visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If this is my last night with you

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, so this is my first fic ever and English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes I may have made. I’d also like to get your feedback on what I can improve so that my storytelling can get better :) 
> 
> Disclaimer: The characters unfortunately don’t belong to me.
> 
> When I wrote this, I had Adele’s song All I ask in my head so yeah it is not a happy fic at all and I’m sorry but I promise I’m gonna make it up to you guys. I love happy endings and I desperately want my babies to be happy and cute together so this story is gonna have two more parts to make this happen. I already know how it’s gonna pan out although I don’t know when I’ll be able to update the next part due to my upcoming exams but I’ll do my best.  
> Anywayyy, thanks for reading and enjoyyyy

 

Angie walked into the mansion, and went straight to the kitchen to take a bottle of schnapps. She was exhausted and felt like throwing up. Today had maybe been the most excruciating day of all her life.  She had always dreaded that something might happen to Peggy but she was so not ready for this day to be here yet. It had been seven days since Peggy had been killed in action and today had been her funeral.

She had not slept  in almost a week as recurring nightmares prevented her from finding peace.  She did not know if she could go on living anymore. Without Peggy, life seemed dull. She was all alone in this huge house. She had lost her best friend, the one person that could make her feel better with a simple smile or the slightest of touch. The one person that had never doubted her and had always encouraged her.

Of course Peggy’s friends had been there for her but their presence made it all more real. She did not want to see anyone. She just wanted Peggy to come home, sit on the sofa so she could tell her about her crummy auditions, drink some schnapps together while eating a slice of rhubarb pie. She just wanted to snuggle in her arms and forget all her troubles.  Every time she walked into a room Angie had the impression that Peggy would be here, waiting for her with her trademark smile and hug her to make all the hurt go away. But she never was.

 

 All Angie seemed able do was wallowing as her mind replayed the last conversation Peggy and her had had. Angie felt even worse as the last time she saw her best friend they were arguing. The last memory they had of one another was that of a fight. Of course she did not mean any of what she had said but still. They had parted on bad terms and she never got the chance to apologize and to tell Peggy that she didn’t think any of what she said and that she was just worried because she cared too much about her and couldn’t stand to lose her.  Well care would be a euphemism. She was and still is in love with that idiot who always put her life in danger for the greater good. She knew it was a part of who Peggy was and asking her not to go on a mission was selfish but she just couldn’t help it. Now it all sounded ironic she thought.

There were so many things left unsaid, so many things she wished she had said to her. It haunted her.

She eventually went up to Peggy’s room just like every night, it still smelt like her, and lied on her bed crying herself to sleep only to wake up every hour due to nightmares replaying her friend’s death over and over again.

 

 

 

Angie was in her bedroom when she heard someone shouting.  She ran to the living room to encounter a version of herself and Peggy arguing.

“ _Angie, you know that this is my job. I can’t just say no to a mission because you deem it is too dangerous!_ ”

“ _Peg, I can’t do this anymore, just sitting around, worrying about you, wondering every night if you are gonna come home in one piece or if you are even gonna come back at all for that matter. Last time you left for 4 months without giving any news. I thought you were dead Pegs!! You could have called or write or something… It is.., it’s just too much!_ ”

“ _This is who I am Angie and out of all people I thought you’d get that. You know what I’ve been through and why I do what I do! I’ve had a tough week and I don’t need you to tell me how to do my job_ ”

“ _Fine! If you don’t care about what I have to say I wonder why I even bother. I am sorry I am such a burden to you. Maybe I should just leave_ ”

“ _Angie… I don’t want you to leave, I just want you to understand that I can’t turn a mission down like this. My work is important, my help is required. And I can’t pass up this opportunity. I can’t throw away all the hard work I have done to be taken seriously.”_

“ _More important than me English? Is that what you’re saying?  And maybe I need you too, but I don’t matter to you as much as I thought?_ “

“ _Angie, don’t put word in my mouth, you know perfectly well what I mean!_ ”

“ _No I don’t! And you put them yourself in your mouth English_.” 

Peggy tried to reach for Angie but the waitress flinched.

“ _Just… don’t English. Go to your stupid mission, go get hurt…I don’t care anymore_.”

The version of Angie went up the stairs leaving a distraught Peggy in the hall.

The real Angie was watching the scene unfolding before her eyes helpless. How she wanted to change things.  How she wanted to tell herself to stop yelling at Peggy and kiss her even confess her love instead of taking her worry and untold feelings out on her. She studied Peggy’s face. She seemed to be extremely sad and at a loss for words. Of course she could not comprehend Angie’s sudden outburst.  She was not aware of the feelings the petite woman harbored for her. How difficult it was for her to watch the person she was in love with coming home from work hurt or not knowing when she would be back. Why had she been so stubborn? Why couldn’t she have the courage to confess her feelings to the English woman or just suck it up and behave normally?  Maybe if she had done so, she would not have died. Maybe Peggy would not have been distracted by their last exchange and could have avoided the bullet that killed her? It is clear that their conversation had hurt her deeply. Of course the English woman cared about Angie, even if it was not in the way she wanted her to. Anyway, she would never know now. Gosh she had been so selfish when Peggy had needed her to believe in her more than ever. She knew the men were giving her friend a hard time at work, how hard it was for her to be recognized as an equal or more likely as a strong woman instead of a fragile creature that needed protection and was only fit for taking lunch orders. She tried to take a step forward to reach for her but then all of the sudden blood was coming out of Peggy’s chest, she had been shot. She fell to the ground. Angie wanted to run toward her but her feet would not move. All she could do was witness Peggy die. She wanted to scream but no sound came out of her mouth. She couldn’t take the pain anymore. 

 

 

 

Angie started to stir awake and suddenly felt that someone was stroking her hair obviously trying to soothe her from the terrible nightmare she’s just had. She realized that her head was not on Peggy’s pillow anymore but on a person’s lap. She breathed deeply and began to feel calmer. The room was enveloped in a strange atmosphere that was warm, reassuring and even loving. Just like what the mansion felt when it was just her and Peggy. Then she heard a soft voice, Peggy’s voice with her unmistakable cute English accent.  How was this even possible? She must still be dreaming, there is no other explanation.   She did not dare open her eyes. She feared that if she would, Peggy would disappear again and there is no way she could bear losing her again.  Angie wanted this moment to never end.  She wanted to stay in Peggy’s strong arms forever.  She remained like this for a few minutes holding onto the woman’s waist, crying softly as Peggy whispered sweet nothing in her ears to calm her down.

Eventually Angie whispered “ _English is this really you?_ ” scared to speak louder.

Angie felt a hand caressing her cheek then raising her chin encouraging her to open her eyes “ _Yes Angie, I am really here, but I am afraid I can’t stay for long_ ”.

Angie did not care about how this was possible, all that mattered was that Peggy was right in front of her, that she was real, that she could feel her, smell her, touch her.

Angie threw herself at Peggy who almost lost her balance and tried to hold her as close as she could. The Italian woman was crying “ _I am so sorry Pegs, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t’ have yelled at you that day. I did not think any of the words that came out my mouth. I hated that I let you leave like this…  and all I could think about was how I was going to make it up to you and apologize when you would come home. But then.. then… there was the phone call….  Oh Peggy… And I never got the chance to tell you how… how.._ ” 

Peggy rubbed her back “ _Shhhhh Angie, it’s all right I am here and I… I know. I am sorry too, you know. Maybe I should have listened to you, but there is no use in dwelling on what might have been. You have to move forward Darling_ ”. 

“ _I’ve missed ya so much English, I don’t think I can do it without you. I need you_.” Angie cried out while pulling Peggy even closer and burying her head against her chest, inhaling her scent. Peggy’s heart broke. 

“ _I love you Peg. Like, I fell in love with you, I know it’s no excuse but that’s why I was mad that day. I did not know how to tell you, I was afraid… and it was hard watching you risking your life everyday… and well … then the thing that I feared the most happened. And I …._ ” she sobbed violently “ _I am so sorry, I just wanted to tell you how I feel since I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance again. If only I could make things right._ ” 

“ _I love you too Angie. You are the most beautiful thing that has happened to me.  And I am also sorry for keeping you away, leaving you with no news for several months. I wanted to keep you safe from my dangerous work. I am not really good at this friend thing and at expressing my feelings. But I don’t regret any moment spent with you. I can’t thank you enough for everything that you have done for me. You saved me from myself Ange. You were my light when I was in the dark. You taught me that life goes on, that I could love again.  My only regret is that it took us this long to finally be able tell one another_ ” . 

“ _Me too English_ ”, Angie laughed a little, “ _just imagine the life we could have had_ ” 

There was a pause while each woman just reveled in the presence of the other.

“ _English?”_  

“ _Yes_ ” 

Angie swallowed, she wanted to know and didn’t at the same time. Maybe asking could ruin everything.  “ _How can you be here?_ “ Peggy bit her lips. 

“ _I could not leave you… us like this. We both needed closure I guess. But I can only be here until dawn I am afraid_. “ 

“ _Don’t leave me again Pegs_ ”

“ _I wish I could Angie, I wish I could_ ”. She then brought Angie’s face slowly closer to hers and captured Angie’s lips. The kiss was bittersweet and both put all their love and desperation in it.  It tasted a bit salty due to Angie’s tears. Then the kiss became a bit more heated and passionate. Teeth clunked together, hands cupping and caressing each other’s body. Angie, out of breath, broke the kiss and looked into Peggy's eyes quite seriously with a hint of sadness.

“ _So… this… is our last night together… English?_ ”

Peggy looked down and tried to keep her tears inside. ” _I am afraid so darling_ ”. 

“ _Can I …. Can I ask you something then?_ ” 

“ _Anything_ ” and Peggy means it. Angie laced her finger with hers. 

“ _Can we pretend that you are still here?  If it is our last night together, can we make… you know… memories together as in more than friends? As in it is just the beginning, a promise maybe? Gee I must sound so stupid”_  

“ _No you don’t Angie. I would like nothing more but I don’t want to make my absence harder on you than it already is._ ”

“ _You won’t English, I want to have something to cherish, a memory of us so that whenever I think about you, us, I will be able to relive this moment for ever. It matters how this ends.  I need to feel ya Peg, I need you to show me…_ ” 

Peggy brought Angie’s hand to her lips and kissed it gently. “ _Shut up Angie you talk too much_ ” she said with an amused smile on her face. She leaned in and closed the distance between their lips. Her right hand tangled into Angie’s hair while the other caressed her thigh. Angie melted into the kiss and moaned as she brought Peggy’s body flushed against hers.  It was as if time had stopped and they were the only two people left in the world.  Peggy broke the kiss and placed a trail of soft kisses on the waitress’s neck.  She eagerly granted her more access to her skin while her hands were rubbing Peggy’s back. Angie had never felt like this before, so whole, so content. It was perfection.

Peggy started fumbling with the buttons of Angie’s nightgown and started undressing her. The blonde happy to obliged helped her lover taking off that unnecessary piece of clothing. The English woman kissed her way down on Angie’s torso eliciting several moan from her lover.

Suddenly Angie flipped them over much to Peggy’s surprise and kissed her with passion. 

 “ _I believe you’re a tad overdressed English. It is not fair to let you have all the fun_ ”.

Angie took her time undressing the woman in front of her, teasing her to no end with her hands and mouth. Peggy was breathless.  Once every piece of clothing was removed except for her underwear Angie stopped and stared at her. 

“ _See something you like?_ ” Peggy teased. 

Angie was trying to memorize every freckle every ounce of skin of the woman she loved.  And gosh that accent would be the death of her.

 “ _You’re just so perfect English_ ” she whispered. “ _I love you so much_ ”. 

Their lips met again gently. Peggy wanted to pour all her love into that kiss. She wanted to make Angie feel how much she cared about her, give her in one night what she would have wanted to give her in a lifetime had the circumstances been different. Angie had saved her when no one believed in her. She had helped her move forward in her life, she had insisted in befriending her despite her constant brush off. Angie deserved everything. She deserved to be happy. Unfortunately as much as Peggy wanted to be the person to give her that, she couldn’t and it hurt her like hell. 

They showed their love and how much they meant to one another during the few hours they had left together.

 

Angie laid in Peggy’s arms feeling content and happier than ever afterwards. She was trying to make the most of this night and not to think about tomorrow. She talked to Peggy about her crappy auditions and days, everything that she had missed during the last week while kissing her in the process. Peggy laughed with her or always found the right words to make her smile and feel better.  Until Angie eventually fell asleep. Peggy kissed the tiny waitress's forehead and held her close, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

 

 

Angie woke up well rested in Peggy’s bed. She automatically tried to reach for the warm body that laid there a few hours earlier only to find the bed completely empty.  Then her memories came back and it hit her, she knew that Peggy was gone for good this time.  Had it been a dream? Had Peggy really been here? Was she going crazy? Those questions would remain unanswered. But at least she could imagine that there was not anything left unsaid anymore. She could choose to think that what had happened had been real. She had some good memories she could cherish. They had made up and Angie had had one glimpse of what could have been.

“ _Bye English_ ” she whispered softly while clutching herself trying to ease the pain she was feeling as tears were now falling freely on her cheeks.

  


End file.
